I am sooooooooo fucking annoyed right now. My fucking school gave me a gay-arse mark for fashion major. And this is what I’m studying, as in, I wanna become a fashion designer and I can’t get a freaking bad mark! B-. B fucking minus, yours truly. I can’t get that! Everything about this school is so sloppy and so retarded and there’s only two schools that do fashion in my gay town. If the set-up and so-called curriculum was better, then maybe I would of known where I went wrong. And there’s only two freaking teachers between four freaking year levels and one ex-student help. Gay. Gay. Gay. I don’t mean to blame it all on the freaking school and the slop-ass teachers who like to leave early to go and make their kids dinner cos my inabilities and so-called lack of asking may be the reason, but hello?!?! The thing that I am mainly in doubt with is, WHERE DOES MY FUCKING FUTURE LIE??? Cos I don’t freaking know. Well, the opinions of two middle-aged women and a weirdo ex-fashion student who doesn’t really know stuff can’t be relied on, right??? I mean, there is the world out there, ya know. Who would have much more knowledge and interest in my what I’m interested in. I’m honestly not an arrogant bitch in real life like I’m coming off right now. OK, maybe sometimes I am, but I am surrounded by arrogant bitches all over. OK!!!! Moving on from that shit topic. I just wish that I didn’t have to go back to the same school next year. I wish I could go and do a foundation course at Parsons or somewhere OVERSEAS, so then I could get the proper training to be who I wanna be. And the parentals don’t have a VISA card which means that I can’t get my pre-sale ticket to the one-off Coldplay concert next year which totally sucks balls. I was planning to be up at 7am straight onto the PC downstairs cos this PC is a piece of freezable shit and totally amped to get the best ticket ever. But of course the common people of Auckland will be getting all up it and the tickets may well be all sold out and I’ll have to be a miserable fat bitch. Why do things suck???
I’m trying to steer away from my bitch rants but I can’t help it. I’m trying to be a positive person but it’s not working. And I can tell you, I don’t need to hear the so-called ”think positive and you will receive some positive energy” shit. I just don’t need any of that, I’ve tried all of that and nothing happened except for maybe, being seen as some holy door-mat??? OK, so I’m talking about why I’m bitter about Xmas.
- It doesn’t feel like fucking Xmas! It’s summer here in NZ (not that it feels like summer, it’s some pretty hazy weather), and it just overall feels like a normal-ass month, but I’m not shitting my pants at school. Nobody is enthusiastic about Xmas, except for ponsy-arsed Ponsonby maybe?? That’s cos they have their beautiful houses which they can decorate and show off and some of us who live in the ghetto don’t even have our fake cheap Xmas tree up in the privacy of our living room. I wish I came from some well-established family who’s parents cared about decorations and design and ponsy-old things like that.
- Ha ha, nobody in my family has the $$$! Truly, truly. My dad has been unemployed for around 8 months, my mum doesn’t even work at all, the siblings don’t either, and I quit that fucking bar job around half a year ago cos I was sooooo sick of being harassed by that fucking pimp wannabe old disgusting man, which I will get to later. So Xmas is a bore cos there’ll be no sweet-ass presents lying under the non-existent tree. I hate it how society makes it so if you can’t afford a lavish Xmas with trimmings and shit and have a family around then you’re just an unfortunate little wanker. Or, maybe it’s just me that’s thinking that. But I fucking hate it how people say stuff like, “I hope you get spoiled rotten”, cos hello, not true at all for some people! I’m such a catalogue-family wannabe, ya know. I honestly don’t get how some parents have the money and the passion to be interested in stuff like architecture and beautiful furniture and coffee machines and ornamental shit for their family homes, when some of our parentals would consider ripping down the wallpaper that has been there for 15 years and painting it some gross hospital-green colour is a thought of design and artisitic flair. I don’t think so! And buying a set of pots and pans is not that exciting. OK whatever, I’m a materialistic bitch, get over it.
- Screw the Xmas shopping and major mall frenzy! There’s nothing worse going to your typical suburban mall than when you have piles and piles of common suburban people charging at you like it’s the end of the world. I wish people were more civilized! And I wish people would have less kids. There’s nothing worse than having a whole family walking at a snail pace and there’s hoards and hoards of people trying to get ahead. I’m a bitch shopper as well, as you can tell. And I suck at buying Xmas presents, cos I usually get irritated at how typical Xmas presents usually are. Oh yeah, a set of mugs and a photo frame totally does it, absolutely.
- I hate those typical American movies that portray those perfect families with the pimped-out houses and the turkey and the snow and what not! When did that ever happen??? I wouldn’t mind spending a Xmas making snowmen and drinking eggnog. That would just be fineeeeeeeeeee. So so fineeeeeeeeeee. Fuck, I wanna be in New York. Or Paris. Somewhere beautiful. Why???? Why?????? Why aren’t we in the position we wanna be in??????
